Should I buy a Maserati GranTurismo or a Tesla Model S?

It depends on what you want and what really matters to you.

Chick factor

Do people still think this works? Don’t be the guy who buys a car to get chicks, it is lame and it doesn’t work. It’s like buying a motorcycle to get chicks, it never works either.

In fact, the only ones I would ever recommend buy a bike for action, is gays, because bikes do get attention from dudes.

1. Appearance

If you are choosing between the fishy wide mouth of the GranTurismo or the techno curves of the Model S, I will say the GranTurismo is weird looking but might get an older man’s attention, not a women’s. The Truth About Girls and Motorcycles.

I’ve heard all of the Maserati’s are just gorgeous and chicks think this one is a Ferrari. I can assure you most women, and men, don’t give a crap about your car. They would just assume it was a Hyundai the same as a Ferrari. Seriously, we don’t care.

2. Practical 

If you live in a big city like Dallas-Fort Worth or New York, or even a small town, or a medium town….pretty much anywhere, the Tesla Model S wins. The Model S wins for many reasons.

3. Charging Stations

There are charger stations everywhere, because wall outlets are everywhere. There also more powerful stations popping up everywhere everyday, restaurants, grocery stored, schools, churches, parking garages, parking lots, theme parks and even public utilities.

Gas stations have maybe a few years left of market dominance, so don’t worry about that. Plus, Tesla offers roadside assistance, so if you ever run out someone will come charge you. With the abundance of chargers, you should never have a wait. You’ll never say that about a as station in D.C.

4. Auto Drive

City traffic is horrible, suburban traffic is horrible. Traffic is pretty much always horrible now days. You will waste your life in traffic with a normal gas car. With a Tesla, hit auto drive, and text, watch a movie, talk to a friend, read a book, work, study, have sex, etc.

You will never ever have any of these options in the Maserati. Back to the top, you know what women want from a man? Attention, they want you to pay attention to them, take your hands off the wheel, relax and talk. This Tesla is going to get you laid my friend.

5. Driving experience

Tesla wins duh. The Tesla is a engineering marvel, the Maserati sounds like a can of farts, has old fashioned controls, a huge center console, I mean it really looks like my old 99′ BMW inside yet here we are 20 years later. Good job Maserati on keeping it old school, great for the people who hate TeKnorogy!

Conclusion : Tesla Model S Wins!

Did I mention that the Tesla drives itself. Yeah, it doesn’t matter how far you roll down the windows on the Maserati, you aren’t speeding around because traffic sucks now days, police are everywhere and even if you were the Maserati still sounds like farts in a can. If canned farts make you orgasm see a psychologist for your fart porn addiction.

If you still want that Maserati, just remember it will depreciate fast as the EV market grows exponentially in the next few years. People will know you were dumb enough to throw all that money away. You will lose everything you put into it. It will always smell bad because of gas and oil, pollute more than the Tesla and ultimately be banned in a couple decades from being on public roads as fossil fuels cars are legislated into oblivion by people who actually car about the planet and it will still sound like canned farts.

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